Sunday, January 25, 2009

Ageing , slow poison for eternity !!!

Clock is like a time bomb that is ticking over eternity. Some body said 'You cannot kill time without injuring eternity'. How true !!

How you normally know that you have lost lot of time and only little time left ?? I used to go through this tumultous expreience when I write my Engineering exams, or during my b'days when i will suddenly realizethat I am one year older...during new year ...a time when you sit back and think that what the **** have i done in last one year....most of the times ..from my personal experience the stark realisation is not that enchanting..noramlly you feel that you haven't utilized the time as it was supposed to be utilized...well that feeling is intricately woven to the genetic setup of the human beings..the feeling that it is not english the word used is greed !!! But to be frank and whether you like it or not, good time or bad time , that is the only time that you have got !!!

Well,some time the feeling is authentic.... damn did nothing last year..atleast couple of times i had the same feeling in my entire life...but ya.. i feel it is ok as the feeling is quite frequent...last year was good for me i guess ., even though I didn't completely achieved all those things that i planned for, I atleast tried to give it all a 'try'...not bad !!

But one thing I did noticed that I have missed, is the fact that I haven't published any thing in my blog for last one year..well I did write and saved it in the oblivion of the bloggers unpublished repository..I didn't published any of them... one obvious reason is the absence of the person that used to push me to write and publish....well...some one I accidently bumped up aganist in the electronic jungle of internet and who went away some where with out leaving a trace... :-)..... ya it was told to me that it will happen some days ... i was aware ...still !!!

The place from where I come from ..there is a common adage and it goes like this '' migrating birds neither sow nor reap....they are just guests for few days'' well true, they are guests for few days and after which they just disappear in to the wide horizons and move with the sun...very true...but they always leave back some feathers that they shed during the days they have stayed back as guest...and some people preserve those feathers as a momento for those wonderful days, with a silent prayer in the corner of the heart...'' my friend..where ever you go..may the god bless you... !!!''

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

lies,big lies and statastics !!!!!!!

Ya,, some one said so and it is so true my dear...what you think ?? be it in your work place , your personal space or your relations... statistics always play a big and heinous role...the role of a bargainer/negotiator and now n then a big time destructor.....the very core nature of people to note down the points and set on the stop watch about what all things had been done and what to be done plays a significant and at times a dirty role statistics mostly sucks.... but at times it is a necessary evil to make the other person realize that ' ,,,yaw ,,some thing need to be done ' intelligent people use it judiciously.... :-)

During my early adolescent years and before I became completely aware of the dire need of being honest, I had developed a very unique skill of lying dry. There is a general feeling that people tend avoid eye contact while lying,that was the exact point that I was specialized in ... to bluff while directly staring in to the iris of the person to whom you are talking . I could safely boast that at that moment even a humming bird couldn't call my bluff... :-). The fine and silky sooth art of deception...

Ya...To be honest all of us are liars....only difference is that some of us does that so beautifully after making sure that it have all the finite texture of an ultimate truth...all in the game... :) wat u say ,, uh ??

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Seconds that lasts a little bit longer than usual..

Today when I woke up it was 9 o clock in my watch. But when I logged in to my laptop after one hour I saw it is still 9 o clock. I was a little bit confused. The whole idea of frozen time was a nice & interesting concept as such to think about, but I was a bit hesitant to believe that it actually happened :-). Then suddenly the idea of day light saving struck me. It is October 28 and today I have got one hour extra in my life. It is one of a rare phenomenon where the precision of time is budging a bit to accommodate the necessity of human beings. (Or is it that we make ourselves believe so??)

I don't no whether you have ever experienced that in your life ; certain moments extending more than it is intended to be. Seconds that last more than a second!!!.

I had quite a few such moments in my life. it happens when you are parting with some one whom you really care about or one whom u know you are loosing for ever.itz then when u feel that time has got frozen and a deafening silence pervade all over .it is sought of stillness that run deep... real deep...acute stillness that penetrate in to your nerves and make you numb.

itz the emotions of the people involved ;that breathe life in to those frozen moments. It is the moment that you feel you are in the gateway to transcendence and you sincerely pray let clock stop ticking for ever. It is then when the words that you speak have got a space of infinity between them and those words would be suspended in the fine silk thread of your emotion and thoughts, having a mass much more than it is designed to be carrying, embllelished by the delicate flavour of love and longing. (You feel it is foolishness that you try to express your feelings through the medium of language. oh, my good god in heavens, what a mediocre medium the language is when it comes to the expression of our own feelings). Then one wink of an eyelid can express feelings that even a trillion words will fail to convey.

It is then when the silence will become eloquent and words become irrelevant. Then Silence and expanded time will catapult you in to a space where ordinary words can only point towards to. itz the defining moment ,when we really understand the significance of that person in our life. it is altogether a different dimension, where you confront the starkly truth and you suddenly realize the vacuum that it is going to be created in our life .Suddenly the clock will start ticking again, with an explosive effect and you will find yourself precariously positioned against the emotionless and cold face of time !!!! .

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Madly in love with the rain !

Monsoon is back, it rains beautifully in kerala now, and it is the place where the rain is born ! .

Now a days they are aggressively marketing and is well on the way of perfecting "monsoon tourism.". Kerala is naturally and uniquely poised to cash in on the heavenly phenomenon & the natural synergy between the monsoon and ayurveda is another added advantage. (Courtesy : Kerala tourism & Anita nair ) .

As the rains engross Kerala with that orthodox dose of sogginess n copiousness, I used to celebrate each drops of seasonal precipitations with much of a joy and freshness.

During my school dayz even though it was very much inconvenient during rainy season to commute , carrying heavy back packs and pretend to be attentive with moisture feeling in atmosphere, I always relished that sweet sound and rhythm of torrential rain impinging in to the roof top of class room.

During evenings after returning from school and while savoring in the evening snacks sitting in the wood plated half wall in front of my home I used to sincerely pray for rain. I used to close my eyes and try to concentrate in order find out whether there is any trace of that enigmatic murmur of emerging rain, it was a feeling that I used to rejoice. The energy, aplomb and at times the ferocity and luxuriance with which a rain sets in is is indeed a remarkable feeling. It is the time when the heavens touch the earth. It is time when sky opens its mind and it is greenery all over after that.

I also used to cherish the feeling of swimming in the pond in my home's compound while it is raining cat’s n dogs. Especially when dusk is setting in and the mystery of darkness is prevailing in the other side of the pond. Darkness associated with a mystery is always a temptation that a human being can't resist; swimming to wards that mystery with savagery of a monsoon rain in the back ground was a sought of an addiction that I used to exert with a twinge of daunted sensation in the back drop of my mind.

During night when I watch the rain from my bed room at first floor, I could see the rain drops flowing down towards earth through the edges of coconut leaves n competing to each other, it was an immaculate sight. Again while sleeping ; the back ground music of night rain was a sought of catalyst for a peaceful and tight sleep , I simply adored that experience .The serenity and calmness of the night rain is always a beautiful feeling.

I always believed rain have a female gender. I think so since it have all the salient features of a so called complete women (wink...). It is exquisitely beautiful,itz graceful,itz mysterious, it is calm,itz serene, itz caring ,itz sophisticated ,itz internally strong yet gentle ,itz fresh and itz gorgeous, genuinely 100 % feminine !!!

I was always madly in love with the rain!!!.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Gulmohar n Summer....

It is may , sweltering heat of mumbai dust n crowd take the charm of summer out of you...but still there are certain things that hold you back and make you enjoy the beauty of summer...
tiresome n humid mumbai summer..

A fully blown gulmohar*** tree is one of them..
In my banyan park office now there are full blown gulmohar trees ..when we goes for daily routine walk after lunch inside the campus we could see full fully blown beautiful flames of fire...
They call it gulmohar, flame of the forest or flamboyant tree...for me it is a pleasant feeling that takes me back to my childhood dayz

summer vacations were also occasions of local festivals. I used to wait eagerly for the festival season as it was a time when all those cousins whom I used to meet only once in a year come together.....also by that time summer vacations would be about to that sadness as well as the laziness to get back to the school would also in the back ground.. I used to pray let that festival never be complete...but again it will just remain as one among hundreds of my prayers; which goes unanswered..:-)

When I went home for a vacation last month...summer was approaching the end of itz tenure this carpets in the shades of gulmohar trees had started to make distinct pattern

Be it in dadar,andheri or along the country side of valluvanadan land scape beside the railway line towards palakkad... cacased red marvel of gulmohar is always a feeling that brings freshness in to your mind.Provided there is at least some amount of compassionate attitude left in your mind,provided you can spare some seconds to open your eyes and look at the red carpet that nature have preserved for you....

*** Common name: Flame Tree, Royal Poinciana, Gulmohar
Discovered in the early 19th century in its native Madagascar by botanist Wensel Bojer, Gulmohar is a flamboyant tree in flower - some say the world's most colorful tree. For several weeks in spring and summer it is covered with exuberant clusters of flame-red flowers.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Holding a piece of Time

Yesterday was b'day of my Bro's twins.... 2 yrs of struggle for him and gods grace both the kids are sound n safe......

they have grown up enough to call me uncle... ''uncle''; hearing that there are some mixed feelings evoked with in myself......of course happy to hear their sweet voices ....but it again remind me of the most accurate thing in this world.Time....It is flying like any thing... ..

I feel like to be there and be part of the events , b'day celebrations , marriages, get togetherz.. but as usual missing all those small small happiness as I wont be able get leave as and when required....itz fine ..all part of the game...

making and breaking of relations and healing of all the wounds..all part n parcel of this great journey called life.....but now a dayz..i have started thinking about the other side ..... in the quest of aiming @ professional excellence and a better it that i am missing out my todayz ...quite thought provoking...I always believe in living life king size......over n again am i negating my self ??.....a small spark...some where it is there....
I always believed and still believes there should be a cause in your life...but what is my cause...I still couldn't identify..or is it that I have ,but I just cant take that final decision about my destiny.

...probably this confusion or rather state of mind where there is a lack of clarity existed right from the begining of human might be genetically encrypted....again all the these questions can be answered only by time...we might be able to derive it....but never will be able to define....

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

sleeping patterns..

I was waiting for some thing through out the night..
gestating some thing...which I felt may turn around my life..
long hours made me wary..but I was sure about my intuitions ..
also the time i already spent waiting;compelled me to hang on for more time...

Time passed and the wait was inspiring horror..
I told my self,mate hold on , outcome is going to be excellent..
it was too late ....before I accredit that it is another dawn..
it was too late ..I recogonize that it was just another illusion...

wat stupid yaa..i lost one full night sleep !!!!!!...